School.....and Life

Lately, I've been struggling with school. Not the actual work or exams. But being motivated to just go. Spring break really didn't help. It just got me in a lazy mood. That I can't shake. Believe me, I've been trying!!

Pretty much, work keeps me motivated. It's the stuff that I enjoy. I almost feel like I'm a high school senior again. With "senior-itis." Did you have that too? When you just couldn't get it together. The end was too close. And it seemed like it would never come. That's what I'm feeling right now.....

Ignacio is really helping me out. With all the pep talks. Making sure, that I keep my goals in mind. Every morning, he gets my coffee ready. And pretty much, has to throw me out of bed. You know, since the "snooze button" and me have become BFFs!! I know!!

I need to just get it together already. Really, the semester is all downhill from here. We've got weeks left. And I know, I can get through it. I just need to get my head on straight. Ugh!! Why is this so hard??

I've been doing a lot of praying. The father from our church, gave me a CD. With bible lessons on it. And some meditation and prayers. Every morning, on my way to school.....I listen to it. Hoping that it will heal my soul a bit. Get me motivated, to do the things that will allow me to grow. Not just as a person. But to grow in God.

I'm really grateful right now, to Ignacio. I know that without him, I would be dropping the ball. He's just a good cheerleader. In fact, this morning I really didn't want to go to school. I was almost like a 5 year old. Throwing a bit of a tantrum. I know that it's not right. But it happened. Ignacio just calmly made my coffee, picked up my purse and bag, and headed to the car.

He then sent me a text. Telling me I had 5 minutes. Yes, he drove me to school. Because I was being such a crabby apple!! I felt bad later in the day. When I realized how childish I was being. I sent him back a text. To apologize. When he came to pick me up, he had a yummy dinner with him. And we headed to the park. For a picnic. And a bit of a ramble from me. Tears included.

Ignacio didn't run away, roll his eyes, or think I was dumb. He just listened to me. And all this stuff, that I have in my head. Things that I don't like to talk about. But know, need to be talked about. He just sat there and listened. Thank God!!

And when I fell apart crying, and talking about failures, Ignacio just held me. And reminded me of my accomplishments. And how God has placed a challenge for me. But also sent me Ignacio. To help me through it.

Today, reminded me of 3 things:

1. I can get through tough things. I just need to stay focused.
2. Ignacio is the perfect man for me. He knows just what to say and do, at the right moment. He doesn't judge me. He's my best friend, before anything else. And he really loves me. I mean REALLY LOVES me!!
3. God loves me too!! He challenges me at times. But he LOVES ME!!

I'm not giving up. I don't have it in me, to do so. As hard as it is, to push forward. It's even harder to give up. That much I know. I need to focus on these important things. I need to relax a bit. Give myself the time, to just be. And when it's time to work and study, I just need to do it. I keep reminding myself, only 14 months left. GIRL YOU CAN DO IT!!

Be Patient and Pray

Do you ever wake up, and just thank God for the people he sends into your life? Recently, I've been doing this a lot. I mean a lot!! I don't think I've mentioned this before. You know that Ignacio is a professional musician. He's got his teaching degree, for music. But he prefers to perform. He's a professional mariachi. And teaches private lessons during the week.

Years ago, he was in another really good mariachi. From what I hear. I didn't know him at the time. Essentially, the musicians were all so good, that they were asked to join the "touring groups." As in the elite professional mariachis. That meant their local group broke up.

3/4 of the guys went to the professional touring groups. The other 1/4 wanted to stay right here. As I hear it, Ignacio had only played in the group for 6-8 months. He was also in college. And decided to stay home. But he kept in touch with these other musicians.

A handful of those guys, joined 1 local group. It's the best group here. They weren't looking for anymore violin players. That's what Ignacio plays. Just a few months before that, they had hired 4 violin players. Ignacio, and 1 other guy, went to a different group.

A lot happened since then. A big flood, here in town. That split that group, between 2 cities. The jefe of the group (boss) had a family emergency. That took him out of state, for a few years. Things like that. But the group, stayed together. Rallied around each other. And they are so good!! They even have one woman in the group. Who rocks the socks off of people. She is that good!!

This woman, also happens to be a good friend. And when the mariachi was looking for another violin player, she remembered Ignacio. It didn't hurt, that they ran into each other one day. You see, her "day job" is working at a hospital. And during the Fall, Ignacio had to go to the ER one day. We ran into Chiquitita. I'd never met her. But she was incredibly sweet!! Made sure that we got the best care.

About a week later, Ignacio had a follow up appointment, and we decided to have lunch at the hospital after. Mostly for the sake of time. And we were hungry!! We ran into Chiquitita again. And she started to tell us about this opening in the group. Ignacio and her set up a time, that he could go audition.

Next thing I knew, Ignacio had the job!! I know, a lot of it is because of our friend. She put in a good word for Ignacio. It's been a complete blessing!! In more ways, than I can even begin to tell you. The money is a lot better!! Ignacio has so much more work now. And steady work. He's in the best group, in this area. There's a lot of traveling. Oh, and this flipping AMAZING group of friends!!

Sorry about that long run on. But it helps you to better understand the following things. We have a new "family." That embraces us. The reality of our situation is, that weeks after Ignacio got this new job, we moved in together. Never brought it up to anyone. That I was moving. But on "moving day" all these wonderful people were there. To help us. And they brought lots of food!! And some gifts. :)

From the beginning, they invited us into their "circle." To join them twice a week for church and dinner. Every Tuesday and Thursday night, we meet. It's just over an hours drive for us. But it's so worth it!! The friendships that have bloomed, in such a short amount of time, are so strong. Intimate. And much needed!!

Now with Lent, we'll meet more often. Our church has special masses, almost every day. And I'm looking forward to it. The ladies also invite me to a bible study. For women. And it was such a nice retreat. I learned so much about myself. About what I want in life. And I've gotten so much closer with God!!

These ladies, have opened their hearts to me. Especially, this lady. Who inspired me, to start a blog. This man, opens his home to us, all the time. He feeds us all, and never asks for anything in return. This "family" was unexpected. But were so happy for them!!

When my week is not going as planned, I can turn to any one of these people. For an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on, some advise, and lots of prayer. It means so much to me. I've never had a lot of friends. I've had a few, close friends. But this new situation, makes me so happy. And thankful. That God would bless Ignacio and I, with such sweet and pure souls.

I've learned so much about life, in just a few short months. I've learned to appreciate more. To pray, and depend on God, much more than I was doing. That there are incredible people out there. I've been inspired to be a better person. To do more for others. To be more, like this lady. Who gives with all her heart. Not ever thinking, of what she will get in return. I'm glad that God sent us, these friends. Who with all honesty, are our new family!!

Just Breathe.....

Today I started back at school. The beginning of our Spring Semester. Crazy how from the second the alarm went off this morning, until I was driving home this afternoon, all I could think of.....was home!!

College for me, has been a dream come true. Something that I wanted to do, since I was a little girl. But I wasn't always sure it would be a possibility. Low and behold, I got a scholarship. :) Then my mom and dad, offered to help me out. Just a little. With some of my books. And I got another job.

For the first 2 or 3 years that I was in college, I worked. Hard. Long hours. I had 2 jobs. And went to school. It was also the first time, I'd lived on my own. Even if I had a roommate, I felt like I was doing it for myself. For the first time in my life!! All tough things. But I knew I could handle it.

But it's like something has changed. I no longer want to be in college. I'm done. So over classes, homework, and group projects. Maybe it's being engaged. And looking into the future. Planning the next phase of my life, with Ignacio. That suddenly makes me want out of college.

I graduate in just over a year. May 2013. It seems like a million years away!! I know that it's not. I've taken out the calendar, a million times. Counted the months. Then the weeks. And finally the days. 16 months. I can do it!!

My one salvation, is my job. I work on campus. It's not a big job. It's a work study job. But it's a fun deal. I enjoy the people I work with. And it's a lot of the "fluff" stuff, that goes with teaching. I get to design bulletin boards, make tons and tons of copies, and help with projects. Really, I help my professors get things together, for the "Student Teachers." And you know what? I don't just enjoy my job. I also enjoy the people I work with. :)

During my 90 minute commute this morning, I thought about all these things. Wondering why I left home at 6:30am, and was still stuck in traffic. I used to live on the west side of town. Near my university. Now I live across town. On the east side. I'm still not used to this commute. Months later, it still drives me nuts!! Why am I doing this? And why, at this point are my classes still so early?

Well, I just turned to God. I turned off my radio. And started to pray. I NEEDED that!! I needed to reflect on all of this. To put it into perspective. To remember that I'm lucky. I get to go to college. I have a fiance, who wants to pay for it. He wants me to succeed. Dare I say, almost more than I want to. And I'm 3 semesters away from graduating. I can't give up now. Instead, I breathe. And turn to God. I know he will help me through this.