Pretty much, work keeps me motivated. It's the stuff that I enjoy. I almost feel like I'm a high school senior again. With "senior-itis." Did you have that too? When you just couldn't get it together. The end was too close. And it seemed like it would never come. That's what I'm feeling right now.....
Ignacio is really helping me out. With all the pep talks. Making sure, that I keep my goals in mind. Every morning, he gets my coffee ready. And pretty much, has to throw me out of bed. You know, since the "snooze button" and me have become BFFs!! I know!!
I need to just get it together already. Really, the semester is all downhill from here. We've got weeks left. And I know, I can get through it. I just need to get my head on straight. Ugh!! Why is this so hard??
I've been doing a lot of praying. The father from our church, gave me a CD. With bible lessons on it. And some meditation and prayers. Every morning, on my way to school.....I listen to it. Hoping that it will heal my soul a bit. Get me motivated, to do the things that will allow me to grow. Not just as a person. But to grow in God.
I'm really grateful right now, to Ignacio. I know that without him, I would be dropping the ball. He's just a good cheerleader. In fact, this morning I really didn't want to go to school. I was almost like a 5 year old. Throwing a bit of a tantrum. I know that it's not right. But it happened. Ignacio just calmly made my coffee, picked up my purse and bag, and headed to the car.
He then sent me a text. Telling me I had 5 minutes. Yes, he drove me to school. Because I was being such a crabby apple!! I felt bad later in the day. When I realized how childish I was being. I sent him back a text. To apologize. When he came to pick me up, he had a yummy dinner with him. And we headed to the park. For a picnic. And a bit of a ramble from me. Tears included.
Ignacio didn't run away, roll his eyes, or think I was dumb. He just listened to me. And all this stuff, that I have in my head. Things that I don't like to talk about. But know, need to be talked about. He just sat there and listened. Thank God!!
And when I fell apart crying, and talking about failures, Ignacio just held me. And reminded me of my accomplishments. And how God has placed a challenge for me. But also sent me Ignacio. To help me through it.
Today, reminded me of 3 things:
1. I can get through tough things. I just need to stay focused.
2. Ignacio is the perfect man for me. He knows just what to say and do, at the right moment. He doesn't judge me. He's my best friend, before anything else. And he really loves me. I mean REALLY LOVES me!!
3. God loves me too!! He challenges me at times. But he LOVES ME!!
I'm not giving up. I don't have it in me, to do so. As hard as it is, to push forward. It's even harder to give up. That much I know. I need to focus on these important things. I need to relax a bit. Give myself the time, to just be. And when it's time to work and study, I just need to do it. I keep reminding myself, only 14 months left. GIRL YOU CAN DO IT!!
