College for me, has been a dream come true. Something that I wanted to do, since I was a little girl. But I wasn't always sure it would be a possibility. Low and behold, I got a scholarship. :) Then my mom and dad, offered to help me out. Just a little. With some of my books. And I got another job.
For the first 2 or 3 years that I was in college, I worked. Hard. Long hours. I had 2 jobs. And went to school. It was also the first time, I'd lived on my own. Even if I had a roommate, I felt like I was doing it for myself. For the first time in my life!! All tough things. But I knew I could handle it.
But it's like something has changed. I no longer want to be in college. I'm done. So over classes, homework, and group projects. Maybe it's being engaged. And looking into the future. Planning the next phase of my life, with Ignacio. That suddenly makes me want out of college.
I graduate in just over a year. May 2013. It seems like a million years away!! I know that it's not. I've taken out the calendar, a million times. Counted the months. Then the weeks. And finally the days. 16 months. I can do it!!
My one salvation, is my job. I work on campus. It's not a big job. It's a work study job. But it's a fun deal. I enjoy the people I work with. And it's a lot of the "fluff" stuff, that goes with teaching. I get to design bulletin boards, make tons and tons of copies, and help with projects. Really, I help my professors get things together, for the "Student Teachers." And you know what? I don't just enjoy my job. I also enjoy the people I work with. :)
During my 90 minute commute this morning, I thought about all these things. Wondering why I left home at 6:30am, and was still stuck in traffic. I used to live on the west side of town. Near my university. Now I live across town. On the east side. I'm still not used to this commute. Months later, it still drives me nuts!! Why am I doing this? And why, at this point are my classes still so early?
Well, I just turned to God. I turned off my radio. And started to pray. I NEEDED that!! I needed to reflect on all of this. To put it into perspective. To remember that I'm lucky. I get to go to college. I have a fiance, who wants to pay for it. He wants me to succeed. Dare I say, almost more than I want to. And I'm 3 semesters away from graduating. I can't give up now. Instead, I breathe. And turn to God. I know he will help me through this.
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